Gettin’ Real

Gettin’ Real with Karen

The Truth about should I stay or should I go?

The proverbial question that I hear over and over in my practice.  This question is so black and white and deserves our attention and awareness to the level we are capable.  However when we are contemplating whether to leave a relationship, another question that could be asked is “Where am I not showing up as fully as I can be?” and “Is there a part of me that is unmet and triggered in this relationship which is having me want to run?”  There are many layers to these questions and at times we will see our complaints and dilemmas in black and white – (All you ambivalents out there – I’m talking to you!  I am one of you!) however it is anything but that.  Our truth is intricately and deeply woven into the fabric of who we are – all that makes us unique and different from one another; Yet, are we really that different from one another? I personally have found comfort in knowing that I really am no different from anyone else in that I experience a rainbow of emotions on any given day, I experience conflict, and I have had my share of trauma. What I find fascinating is that the complexity of the many layers for each of us is different for each of us based on our experiences to date.  We humans go through life, experiencing ourselves and bumping up against ourselves in ways that cause us pain and it is through this pain that we are able to come to our truth.  This truth will lead you to your greatest joys in life and if you compare yourself to others it will lead you to your greatest suffering.  This truth has the ability to set you free no matter which path you choose.  What are you setting yourself free from?  You may want to blame the relationship you are in, and I hate to break it to you, but the truth is that you are the one keeping yourself in misery, jailed, walled off and far from your deepest joys. Why?  Lets talk about “being enough”.

Are you good enough to have what you want? Are you good enough to be in a relationship that is undeniably fulfilling? I didn’t say easy!  What lies dormant in our relationship woes is the burning question “Am I enough” – damn!  I’m haunted by this question.  I’m guessing your next question for me is:   How will I know when I am enough?  I’m still working that one out, and I’ll do my best.

I am enough when I let myself have a voice even though it causes conflict in my relationship.  I am enough when I am angry.  I am enough when I am afraid.  I am enough when I am in love.  I am enough when I am in joy.  I am enough when I have agency over myself and how I treat myself and others in my life.  I am certainly enough when others tell me I’m not.  We are all enough – inherently enough – we were born this way.  Someone else’s judgment is their own shame of not being enough – dang!

Most importantly, in my experience,  I feel freedom and ease in my being when I let go of the strong hold of not being enough by becoming aware first and then owning my judgments, my resentments, my blame, my shame and my guilt.

Still contemplating should I stay or should I go?  Ask yourself this: “Am I in service to myself and my partner in this relationship, (in other words am I growing)?  Is this relationship growing? Am I having fun? Do I like who I am when I am with this person? Am I willing? Do I know somewhere deep down my partner is willing? I’m not talking every minute of every day – geez people!  Can you find a yes to any of these questions in the last 6 months to a year?  If you could NOT answer yes to at least one of these questions, HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF?

When you truly become aware of the power and magnificence that is your natural state of being in the world, you will set your partner free from the jail you put yourself in by staying somewhere you are not happy, which most definitely plays a factor in holding your partner back from connecting to you and knowing you fully.  When it comes to the decision to stay or to go  –  It is a matter of choosing LOVE or FEAR – A choice of Love is I choose “me” – I am leaving nothing more to do here and I love myself and my partner enough to move on.  Love can also look like this:  I am staying with the willingness to grow through my resentments and judgments and truly experience myself through the eyes of my partner.  When we choose  Fear,  I choose to stay even though I know I don’t want to be with this person, but I am afraid to hurt them or I am afraid to be alone so I don’t choose “me”, I leave myself to not hurt my partner and I end up hurting myself.

Would you like help in your relationship?  Would you like help clearing any judgments or resentments that have accumulated in your relationship? How about building so much damn self esteem that you only have one choice and that is to choose “You”.   I would be delighted to help you on this journey.  Are you willing?

CONTACT ME or SCHEDULE an appointment today.


I am enough when I let myself have a voice even though it causes conflict in my relationship. 

I am enough when I am angry. 

I am enough when I am afraid. 

I am enough when I am in love. 

I am enough when I am in joy.

I am enough when I have agency over myself and how I treat myself and others in my life. 

I am certainly enough when others tell me I’m not. 

We are all enough – inherently enough – we were born this way. 


Our soul here on earth

When the flow of love is severed because of a hurt – the soul hurts. 

Each and every time we choose to blame our wounding on another rather than move inward and accept that which we can not change about ourselves or other – the flow of love is severed.

Cutting off the flow of love in your life is like a child turning away from food offered by the mother.

Death …

Blame, denying love, decimating the character of your beloved.


When you cut the flow of love off to “another” you also cut the flow of love off to yourself.


Life without water


Life without touch


Life without love

Painful death…

Being human is painful and yet every time love is chosen especially when we are deeply hurt – we are reborn – made new.  In this process – our vibration increases and we become aware of how our perception of ourselves and other has broadened as well as becoming acutely aware of not only our own circumstances but others’ as well.  When we move into love at this depth we are then able to come into a deeper understanding of ourselves and our planet.

How can I complete my cycle here?

Choose the beloved everyday –” You are the beloved” “ The other in your life – is the beloved”.

Stop pushing love away and pray.  Ask for help and guidance from the angels and your spirit helpers.

Say a prayer for all beings: 

May all beings be at peace; May all beings feel loved; May all beings feel worthy; May all beings experience the light of who they are and choose to love unconditionally.

Blessings for a beautiful life filled with light.

Heal your 2nd Chakra: Create Flow in your Life

Your second chakra is your creativity center and without the flow of energy in this vortex of your existence it takes more effort to live in a state of allowing to all that wants to manifest into existence for you and with you. This flow is an art;  It is an art to allow ourselves to flow.   The river is a perfect metaphor in the art of allowing as it effortlessly intertwines, integrates and flows naturally with the species that lives in its’ waters as well as its magnificence to just flow in and around anything that we might consider  “an obstacle”.

What if you are the river? Feel into the fluids in your body and imagine for a moment  that you have the freedom to move and to flow naturally without any setbacks, and without a care in the world.  Now allow your self to feel the rise and fall with the fluids in your body – your blood, your interstitial fluids, synovial fluids and your cerebral spinal fluids.  Feel the contraction and expansion of your own flow as it relates to the freedom of the free flowing fluids in your body and how this correlates to the flow of a river.  The river does not care if it spills out of its banks.  The river does not care if it crashes over boulders.  The river just “is”.  There is no remorse and there is no rejoice.  Think of yourself as the river and contemplate how your life can more easily flow without effort.

Consider these questions and perhaps journal your insight:  How does this relate to your life? In what way do you get in the way of your own flow? And, contemplate for a moment on the idea of judgment and more specifically your own judgment that gets in your own way.  How do you leave yourself?   Do you take responsibility for others’ happiness or sadness, setbacks or gains?  Do you “need” others to be a certain way or give you something in order for you to have happiness? Are you in suffering or are you feeling freedom?  Our feelings are the clue to what is not in alignment for us in our lives and we can become aware of an imbalance by looking within.  In order to see our truth we must be in the flow of our lives.  One way to be in the flow is to become aware of what arises such as feelings, emotions, pain, joy and then honor and cherish it by allowing ourselves to “feel” all of it.

Healing: With all your awareness in your second chakra which is located at your naval (front side and back side) breathe into this vortex of your being and say “I am the creator of all of my manifestations.  I choose to create while in the flow of my authentic power.  I am the flow of the river and I trust that all is in divine order”


Karen Chonzena, LMP; Energy Intuitive




Open post

One Breath

One breath of awareness is all it takes to call on the vibration of love. Our vibration increases as we call on the vibration of love with our breath and awareness. One breath … that is all – think about it … and now connect to your breath and breathe in all the blessings being offered to you. You will be pleasantly surprised of the sensations and the blessings that come into your life with this daily practice.

The body of light

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